More Kindness

I didn’t have a post planned for today. I usually think about what I want to write in advance. I have a few food posts in the hopper, and I like to space those out. When I saw that there was a NYT food writer who was trending on social, I knew what I wanted to write. That’s when I decided that I needed to write about a subject that should be on people’s minds, considering that we’re in a time where we can use more kindness.

NYT Cooking food author Alison Roman, who is the subject of all of the social hoopla (for good reason) chose to discuss two well known successful women, Marie Kondo & Chrissy Teigen, and their business models. Her contrast was to illustrate how she wanted to stay true to her brand and remain small. Sounds simple enough. Except she called out these women, who both happen to be of Asian descent, and proceed to disrespect how they achieved success. I get it. There is no one way to become successful. Even if you disagree on how someone decides to brand themselves, you can also respect that they have the work ethic to achieve their accomplishments.

“Don’t yuck my yum” is a saying that demonstrates that people shouldn’t say something is yucky because they don’t like it. I enjoy eating sea urchin. That doesn’t mean you disparage me or my choice of eating it because you don’t care for it. Just like someone’s trash is someone’s treasure, I’m not going to tell you that I don’t like your choices, especially in a published article. Jealousy is an emotion, and we’re all human. How one manages negative feelings is a testament to how one overcomes insecurities and challenges. I’m not perfect, so I’m sure that I also exhibit these feelings. The only competition that I have is myself, so I think about how I can be better.

During a time where we are feeling heightened emotions and looking at our screens more, we can get sucked into looking at platforms that may only show the highlights reel. We may only see the successful moments (that’s not necessarily true for Chrissy because she is all about being real) and never know of the challenges they had to overcome. This incident only emphasizes the stereotype that women don’t support one another, and when you add onto it the level of racism, it angers me. Women of color deal with obstacles that many of our white counterparts may never encounter, and that’s why I credit the three white women who pushed my resume when I was a young professional. There are allies out there who are ready to uplift and elevate. They understand what it means to have privilege and to use that so that they can bring more to the table. They celebrate our achievements because that’s kindness. It shouldn’t be them and us. Together we should be working to overcome the barriers that have been placed in a system that has actively worked against women.

We desperately need more kindness. Putting others first and thinking about how our actions impact the people around us. I remind myself to take my negativity and create a positive moment, even if that means taking a step back to collect my thoughts and ask how I can be a better ally. Standing up with those who are marginalized, uplifting the stories of people who need to be heard, and reminding myself to put kindness first.

MXM